101 Questions To Ask Before You Get Engaged By H.Norman Wright

Patrick Bet David mentions this book on several podcasts, and being a single guy now; I could not wait to read this book!

I listened to this book on audible IMMEDIATELY, which didn’t disappoint; my physical copy of this book also just arrived (which has plenty of spaces to write down your answers and make notes for each question)

If you are single and unmarried, please grab this book’s physical copy.

The questions in this book are so deep and thoughtful that It could take me a lifetime to come up with these questions on my own.

I learned from this book that the simple questions you feel uncomfortable asking or the deep dark secret you will eventually find out from your partner in the future, so why not find answers to the questions now before you get engaged and get married? 

One of my favorite questions is:

What are the questions about me you’ve always wanted to ask but never have?

I love this question because it allows our partner to ask questions that have been in their mind that they felt uncomfortable asking you. 

It may be wise first to build trust with your partner that you are open-minded, won’t take things personally, and create a safe environment to talk about deep things. 

Another question I like is:

How frequently do you have contact with your former partner, if any, and in what way? What is the purpose of the contact? What feelings do you experience on these occasions?

This can be quite a loaded question, but I agree we must have CLARITY and CLOSED ALL THE DOORS from our past relationships. 

Even your partner may not feel the same way meeting their ex, but their ex may not have a mutual feeling towards them.

Last but not least, another question (question no.59 from the book) I found super insightful to ask is:

What is your idea of a “family”? What would you change about your family and how you were raised? What steps would you take to make these changes?

Some of these questions are so deep, and I could probably listen, chat and discuss a good 3 to 4 hours per question. 

I love this question because I will learn much about her blueprint and upbringing. 

Also, it gives you insights into their family belief systems and attitudes towards numerous topics like parenting, work ethic, and money, among others. 

We may also start getting the gist of your partner’s ideal picture of the family they may want to build with you, like celebrating life every quarter by exploring different places, which help children give a wider world perspective, or it could be small things like praying before eating dinner as a family. 

Big props to my man Patrick Bet David for introducing me to this book. I will go through all these questions with my future wife. 

In one of the videos, I love Patrick’s interesting questions, something along the lines of When we are married, and we have a very bad argument, who are the people close to you that you would go to ask for advice?

This is an interesting question because the people close to them who seek advice and get empathy could have certain belief systems that could positively or negatively affect our marriage. 

For example, her close friend could believe that all men are the same, that they are liars and will eventually cheat on you one day. 

We can tell when my wife asks for advice from this close friend; it can complicate our relationship. 

On the other hand, after I had a terrible argument with my wife, my close friends, and family, to whom I seek advice and talk, tells me all my wife’s wonderful qualities rather than FOCUS on the negatives that shift my paradigm. 

This book leans toward religion and god, which you might not believe in; however, this book gives very INSIGHTFUL QUESTIONS to AVOIDABLE pitfalls and disappointment with the potential marriage partner in the future.

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